Charlie41

Lore28 .

 

 

07/05/2005 20:30 or 07/05/07 2:3 or 757 and 5

 

Hi Lor

 

I was just wondering about Descartes statement:  I think, therefore I am.  Does that mean that if I do not think, I am not?  Or that anything that does not have consciousness, does not exist and with that implying that everything that exists, there must be a consciousness of itself?  And does that form of existence mean only a form of matter?  Space exists – though we are not sure what it consists of?  As the mere word “space” imply that there must be something in our frame of mind that we call space.  Now the question:  does space have a consciousness of itself, as it exists?  Space have a space in our 3 dimensional reality, therefore it exists.

 

 

 

12:54 09/05/2005

 

Hi Lor

 

I want to tell you a flea story today.  One day, there were a lot of fleas on this particular dog.  And because they were multiplying so much, the fleas decided to get some structure as it was needed because there were too many fleas on this dog.

At first they decided that they must give each flea its own piece of the dog as the fleas became irritated with one another as there was not only one who wanted to be under the armpit, there were a lot.  So they realized they had a problem.  Then they knew they were going to have to have some structures put into place for everyone to survive.  So they decided that each flea could set aside a piece on the dog’s body that will only be that flea’s piece of ground.  But then it became a problem as each one claimed a place but the other one who also wanted the place, claimed it his place as well.  So they got together pen and paper and started an office where the claims were going to be kept.  And they got fleas who were starting to write laws for the structure.  They also invented a money system so that each flea, after he bought a piece of ground, could say, but I have paid for this claim, this makes this claim my place and it is after the payment now on black and white in an office that this piece is my piece.  But then they had to get someone to work at this claims office.  And because they invented a money system and law system, they also had to have someone to take care that the new law principles are exercised.  So they had fleas working in the office and they had policeman fleas as well.  But the policeman fleas, and the office working fleas became a problem as they had to eat from the dog’s body as well, so the fleas who had bought pieces for themselves on the dog, started their own industries to manufacture containers to put “food” in for the fleas who were delivering a service to all the fleas on the dog.  This system then seem to create more jobs as some of the fleas had to go and work in the industries who manufactured the containers – and then these fleas working in the industries, had to get container food as well.  This ended up in the fleas who had pieces on the dog, not getting enough time to eat themselves as they had to fill containers for the other fleas who was delivering services for all the fleas.  So they ended up being in service as well.  Now all the fleas was in some sort of service on the dog and they stopped thinking of themselves as fleas on the dog, they were too busy delivering services!

 

Then one day the owner of the dog decided to bath the dog and treat the dog for fleas.

Well, I wonder what is going to happen to us?

 

Love

Renee

09/05/2005 13:14

 

Lore27 .

 

02/05/2005 14:39 or    14:12 or 2:12 :  regarding 1412, just read in a book that Joan of Arc was apparently born in 1412  and regarding 212, as 0 means nothing, 2012 

 

Dear Lor

 

I think I have received a lot of new information.  I had this dream the other night – by the way, do one receive information in dreams? – that I was going through a door with a guy I knew from my police days.  I am forgetting his name but I know he was born on exactly the same day and month and year as I was born.  So the two of us landed together to go through the door and we danced inside.  There were some other people inside as well, but I could not first understand how he was dancing but eventually figured out by watching his feet, and he had tekkies on with white holes and white soles and a white part on the toes.  Then I was working at this one place and I had to go through a part of the place where it seems sales were made, but everything was in whitish, silverish colour.  Then I went up the stairs to the door at the top of the stairs and I knew exactly what was going on behind the door, as my workplace which I was sort of familiar with was there, even before I went through.

 

Then there were another night, I first got such a fright, that I was woken up by a little black boy and he just woke me up and then went through the window.  As I woke up, I realized I was in my bed, but it was not my room – at least not the room I am sleeping in at the moment.  It could well have been my room I had when I was a child and we stayed in Zambezi Road 115 in Pretoria (and the Zambezi road name, might explain as I realized just now, the black boy).  But as I realized the room was different,  I heard footsteps and wanted to turn and look who it was, but could not turn my head – and with this fear of not being able to turn my head, I “woke up” in my room and looked immediately towards my door and saw I was back in my room that I am sleeping in now.  Now this event only realized the afternoon and I was so bewildered as I thought what does a tokolosi want from me?  Where is my protection, what is going on?  And even worse, I sent Ronel an sms explaining in short what happened and she sms back saying she hope I did not open a doorway to the darklords!  This baffled my mind and you were not available so I phoned up Margaret and she helped me by suggesting I go into my core and ask if that is my truth.  Which I tried and I was only shown that the doorway that the little pixie used, behind it was light.

 

Lor, do you think I will do anything that I am not suppose to be doing or want to be doing, because of a lack of knowledge???

 

Well, and then there is last night. The first dream I had, me and my mother and father, though they did not figure heavily, and my grandparents on my mother’s side and her brother and his wife that shot herself, we were waiting for a train to take us through a kind of a tunnel to another town of where we were going to stay.  This was kind of a hotel place and the tunnel or what ever you call it, was 58 km long.  But we went in and got out again.  On the other side my grandfather was looking at some strange cattle and my mother’s brother, it seems his leg was in crutches or something, he was the manager of the hotel, but I was all over the place.  How we settled in there.  The end of this dream was showing that the place across this hotel had a lot of swimming pools.

Then I was sort of awake, but must have fallen asleep again and saw this pink/purple doorway.  And I went through it.  On the other side was ancient stuff supposedly.

Then the venue changed and I saw these two men bargaining that the one will harm the other man in his right shoulder.  And then this guy who was to be hurt in the shoulder, drove off and presumably the other then hurt him in the shoulder.  Then there was this woman at this hotel where my family took over a hotel, but she was put in jail at the back of this hotel complex by a policeman.  I once saw a movie of Joan of Arc and this woman resembled the lady who played the role of Joan of Arc.  But then it was me and I had to climb a kind of primitive ladder to the top where the jail is and as the policeman opened the jail door, I saw inside and me and the woman, as one, said it was ok, as I could see the sunlight inside the compartment.  And I saw her go in and I heard her talking saying that it will come out that she is innocent and I was sort of wondering if she knows what she is talking about as I did not think the people would think she is innocent, though I knew she was innocent – and the best is, I do not know of what, but it had something to do with the two gentlemen who was agreeing that the one was going to injure the other in the shoulder.  And then I woke up…

 

Lor, I know this might sound terribly crazy, but do you make anything of it?  All I know that there are such things as doorways – but how and what they are in essence, I do not know.  Then I have also learnt from the Kabalah book I am reading that ladders, stairs and trees are the stuff leading to “heaven”.  I have asked in a letter that I only deal with what is from the Light.  I do not know if there is anything else I can do or that I must do.

 

Did I tell you what happened as I was sleeping over at Ingrids place that weekend, what happened that Saturday night?  A Doorway in the sky – in the pastel blue, bluest sky – opened and a guy with a sword of Light, appeared in that door.

 

You see, all this stuff is happening and I do not know exactly what to make of it, or with it than bear it in mind. (And I got the three bears on that native American machine at Grand West twice yesterday!)

 

Anyway, this must seem like such a deurmekaar spul…

 

Love

Renee

02/05/2005 15:25 or 3:25pm which gives us 3 25’s:  02/05,  2005  3:25!                                                                       

This is Lore26 .

 

 

Dear Lor

 

I am not feeling well at the moment but one of the possibilities is that I am down because my battery is flat because there is no truth?  Is there a difference between truth and theories explaining everything with their attached anti theories because we are living in that dualistic world?  Is there a truth behind everything?  It seems all the conclusions I’ve reached so far is known already to the whole of the world, in some or other way.  So I am not making new discoveries in any theory based logic I come to conclude!

 

One of the things that is still troubling me is free will!  My mother chose this afternoon not to believe what I have told her.  So it seems there are choices and we have free will to make a choice, to believe there is free will or not.  The first choice you make you might think it was chosen as free will, but following will come another and another choice on this path until eventually you are in the direction you are suppose to be – and here I am making a statement that we all have a path that we are suppose to be on.  My question is just; we might make the first choice, but others will pitch up to direct you in the direction your lesson is at, so how many free will do you really have?  We are in an illusion if we think we have free will because we look no further than the choice that we are about to make to the effect of others that are going to arise from this choice to eventually reside us where we are suppose to be.

 

Love

Renee

29/04/2005 17:07 or 5:7 or 12.

 

 

Lore25 .

 

24/04/2005 10:57 and 5 + 7 = 12

 

Dear Lor

 

Something very interesting has come up.  When I was at university, I studied the verses about the creation and the creation of man and woman also – on my own.  But what struck me this morning is what I told you in my previous letter, about the number Phi and the “Fe” of Female.  So I read my Afrikaans Bible again and saw that even in Afrikaans the word that is used in the creation of the woman, is “manin”.  So it is man with something added to it.  What I have discovered so far is that there is logic and there is logic.  Sometimes you get a very hidden logic to certain stuff that will be explained differently as the hidden logic is too hidden to realize.

 

If we look again at the creation explanation in the Bible, the word “woman”, incorporate the word “man”, or the word “female” incorporate the word “male” (or for that matter, something of the male was taken:  MALE, but something was also added to “male”!  ”FE”!  This let “female” go beyond “male” as “female” incorporate “male” (or for that matter the foolish explanation that a rib was taken from Adam) and something gets added to “female” that “male” do not have – although “female” incorporates “male”, “male do not incorporate “female”!

 

Love

Renee

24/04/2005 11:17

This is Lore24 .

 

20/04/2005 13:49 or 13:13

 

Dear Lor

 

It seems I am up and about again.  Had a terrible day yesterday and this morning early.  There were many a moment in this whole process where I thought to myself:  Is my body going to last this – but it seems I am capable of far more than I would have expected.  And aren’t we all???

 

What was thought interesting was my speedometer this morning and the other morning.  The other morning the top speedometer read 91221 and the accompanying bottom one read 87.  This morning the above meter read 91331 and again the bottom meter read 87.  This combination of 87 I have only picked up once before – the one of the three occasions the Sumatra Islands had an earthquake which registered 8.7 – but I am still not sure what to make of the combination.

 

Lor, I am so confused with the Parrot.  I got the animal healing card of the native Americans, namely the Eagle which is telling that you are in connection with the Great Spirit.  Well, according to Len it is not possible for anybody on this planet to be in connection with the Great Spirit or the Source or whatever it is called.  He just figures that nobody can be a pure channel for the Great Spirit like Jesus were as the frequency would be too high – it is just not possible.  This confuse me and I go back to the one time I told you that the Voice said it is God.  So it was raised that maybe because you say we are all God, that the Voice told me he is God and was just my Higher Self and not The Great Spirit.  And then I feel bad that I could have even assumed that that Great Spirit was the Parrot.  But who ever the Parrot is, he sure must be a hell of a logician.  Yesterday, as I was taking a break from the crying thing, me and the Parrot thought about a lot of stuff, and I was amazed to look at theories and theories and the Parrot pointing out the anti thesis of each theory.  And as the Parrot was showing and logicing about it, I could perfectly understand what an illusion we are living in.  But we do not realize as we do not weigh the odds of what we believe to eventually realize that there is no theory that can last, as there will be an argument as to why the theory cannot last.  We want to explain things – or I want explanations for everything and I am looking at theories and theories, but each time up till now, there was something contradicting that theory.  So now I understand the complexity of The Great Spirit, but what I do not understand is the underlying greatness of that, how the Great Spirit manage to keep an underlying structure in this reality that were created and seeing to it that 6 billion people do not create chaos!  At times it might seem that there is chaos, but I do see an underlying structure that can only be run by the The Great Spirit.  And the complexity underline the mystery – for me – of The Great Spirit.  So the Parrot must have certain knowledge as well.  And that is why I asked for the Parrot to show me the Powers I am dealing with.  Then firstly I got the dream about the tsunami and then yesterday the big crying came up and the then logic theme me and the Parrot had.  And yesterday afternoon as I went to fetch my mother it has just rained – and my car is clean – and as I had to go and fetch her, the sun was shining but only the roads were wet.  And I do not know why, but I was tremendously angry with the Parrot for that – but I guess totally out of place.  Then as I reached my mothers working place I was in such a rage with the Parrot – and I hate these angered moments the Parrot is giving me – and wanted to send you an sms.  But decided against it as I did not know what that is going to cause again!  So the Parrot keep on working on my irritation buds and as I came home a whole bucket full of stuff fell out of the cupboard and that was just it.  I could not take anymore.  This morning again we started with my past stuff and the way we are dealing with it make me in that moment think this Parrot is some evil thing hurting me like this and draining my body that way.  This morning it was so bad that I got goosebumps on my head as the pain came out in crying.  What I do realize is how complicated it actually is to suss out my emotions.  So for various reasons, I do not want to be a woman, and for various reasons I do not want to be a man – so the big question:  What do I want to be?  Because everybody has to be something.  And I definitely do not want to be gay.  I cannot picture myself living with a woman, neither a man as woman to woman or woman to man!  But you are right when you say we are habitual creatures, because we want to fit in either the one or the other perspective.

 

The Parrot though, showed me something interesting that I would love to share with you.  If you look at the word “female”, it is fe + male.  Now if you look at Phi = 1.618,  and I pronounced the word Phi like fee, you get 1.618 + male and male’s numerical value turns out to be 4.  So you have 1.618 + 4 = 5.618.  And 8 + 1 + 6 = 15 and this gives us 5.15 and 5 + 1 = 6 and 1 + 5 = 6 and 6 + 6 = 12.  But the word female’s numerical value turns out to be 6 only.  And the Parrot showed me that The Great Spirit could be viewed as feMALE, where both are encorporated.  I remember that day before I went to you and in that week before I drank the pills, that as I was sitting with Marion and one of the twins, the sms came through that said:  Why did God create man before woman, because the woman is His masterpiece.  That is why the English language is so nice:  the word man does not incorporate a woman but the word woman, incorporate man as well as in woMAN.  Same with Goddess and Lioness and she for instance.  Is that suppose to tell us something?

 

To look at English, the Parrot is talking English with me. Though we are actually just putting words to the concepts of our conversations – but if I look at the Afrikaans language, it is all based on pain.  Their poems, there songs, their books and the most brilliant of Afrikaans writers is considered those who committed suicide, like Eugene Marais and Ingrid Jonker and Koos Du Plessis.  How many Afrikaans new on the stagefront is singers who are writing poems and kerm them for the sake of calling it music?  I think the Afrikaners are in a worse state of victim mode than the Jews.  For all we know a lot of the Afrikaners were some of those Kakies and some of those blacks and for all we know a lot of these Jews were some of those Germans???  I am just asking???  If I died one of the “boere” in the Vryheids war, does it necessarily mean I am going to be born an Afrikaner again??  And it seems the world is so busy with this stuff, being an American or a Christian or a Muslem, that we do not want to see what is going on exactly!!!  In my translation of what is called the Bible the New Testament states that Jesus said he came not for peace, but for father to turn against sun and daughter to turn against mother.  Why was there so many Masters been send?  If I view it it looks like to bring confusement and all that goes along with that.  Like the “toring of Babel”!!!

 

But I am talking about the world not knowing it is confused, but meanwhile I am very confused as to what to make of the Parrot.

 

But it is certainly not helping to sit around and wonder about that.  For the Parrot there is no such thing as time it seems and time is the thing in my reality that are making me impatient as to wait and see what the powers is I am dealing with – not even sure if that is going to clarify the Parrot?

 

But enough for today…I am going to read Da Vinci Code further, followed your advice and seems I am able to concentrate on a book, so thank you for prescribing to read the book.

 

Love

Renee

20/04/2005 15:09 and 15 + 9 = 15!

This is Lore22 .

 

 

16/04/2005 17:10 or 171.

 

Dear Lor

 

I am confused – or rather the pain I have in my chest is becoming too much.  At this point it seems I have this pain constantly unless I do something odd it wants me to do or a good deed.  How do I explain this?  Let me start by telling you that as I am sitting at the computer now, it feels better – or is starting to feel better.  That means I am doing something the (Parrot?) want me to do.  Sometimes the Parrot gives me a sort of an irritation feeling in my chest – I can’t describe it more precisely as it feels as if the nerves are being pinched or something. But when this irritation feeling happens, I have no control over getting angry for the smallest thing that happens – even if I try my best!  And this feeling is worsening now again, so I do not know what I am doing wrong again now, or not doing at all that I am suppose to do.  Have I created this?

 

Then I also want to ask you something else:  This is a typical situation, but just, this time the other party is a Reiki Master and are clairsentient.  Len and me and Karina were sitting in his sitting room.  Len kept banging his arm against the cupboard behind him and I noticed somebody wanted his attention and pointed that out.  Then Karina replied that “they” wanted our attention on the book behind Len on the cupboard and Len replied yes, he still wanted to give the book to me to read.  This is one way of how I am getting clues.  Clues for what I do not yet know.  Another situation of how I got a clue to some question I had, was I came from the email café and right in front of me drove a car and my attention was focused on the back side of the car where a sticker was sticked on the car of a spider.  And I asked myself as this happened again in perfect timing according to the cell phone’s time, how did the Universe got this guy here on that exact timing and at that exact place for me to be behind him to notice the spider on his car at that specific time?  Can you understand why it feels for me as if everybody is only pieces on a chess board.  And this is the kind of stuff that happens to me on a daily basis.  People coming over my path on a specific time and a specific place with information or something that I need to know.  How does it happen that they get to that specific place at a specific time without being manipulated themselves by others and by the Parrot?  Or am I making assumptions now???  I know you said I must not ask questions, but many a time I have wondered where were the starting point of the whole incident, was it when that person was born or even before then????

 

Anyway…

 

Love

Renee

16/04/2005 17:48

This is Lore21 .

 

15/04/2005 14:11

 

Dear Lor

 

I just want to add something to the letter I wrote to you this morning.  It was bothering me until I went and lay down for a while and sussing it out…

 

If it were left up to us, the Devine Sparks or Gods, to create, we would keep on creating things for I lives here on earth.  There has to be a Higher Power dictating what must be created other wise how will we know what to create to evolve further?

Meanwhile the earth’s population will go up because who is going to create in another persons life that that person do not have children – especially if that person want to have children and are creating it for himself?  I can’t see any survival if everything was left up to us to create – I can only see chaos!

 

Well, I’ll maybe add to this later and will mail when I get to the email café again.

 

Love

Renee

15/04/2005 14:20

Lore20 .

 

15/04/2005 09:12

 

Dear Lor

 

Something was bothering me since a long time now and I did not actually realize it until this morning.  But the whole thing about it is that you are the only one I know who is not like this – you are past this and I actually understood this morning why you said to us we are all God.  And I understand now why the Parrot trust you so much.

 

The problem that came up now for a long time, and each time I suppressed it because I thought it was my own feeling of inadequacy that made me have those thoughts, was that everybody wanted to be important!  But that is true, especially people on the spiritual path.  But they have God in them and that is why they know they are important so it isn’t just a bad characteristic that make them want to feel important – I fought my own tooth and nail (the feeling that I want to be important) and was only more and more confronted with it with people around me who were acting out there need to be important.  And after yesterday, I have a better understanding of the God thing in ourselves as well.  In the whole, yesterday’s experience was positive, but as I went through it and immediately afterwards, I did not feel so good.

 

If you look at the Bible Code, it is just crazy to believe there is no Devine Plan behind everything.  So yesterday, 14/04/2005, I was in a dimension of understanding that even the last single atom was part of the Devine Plan.  And we, as we have God inside ourselves as we are Devine Sparks of God, are as much part of this Devine Plan as everything and everybody around us.  Yes, we can create our surroundings, but where does our desires stem from?  We can manifest, but who is the creator of the thought of what we want to manifest.  Is it God in ourselves.  But why was this so negative an experience for me?  Simply because I realized that our separateness is only an illusion.  Simply because I realized that nothing is outside the Devine Plan and how much more boring can it get?  God is acting out God self in all of us.

 

Deep in ourselves we realize that Devine Spark and we want to be important in our state of separateness. Meanwhile it seems we are all fishing in the dark.  Yes, people’s Devine Sparks are showing all over now as all is reaching a new level of consciousness – but it seems to me, there is only a few who are not a victim of this (like you), that nobody realizes that they are not that separated as they think and their need to be important is all because of the Devine Spark inside them and waking up that Devine Spark.  And so does it go for the feeling of loneliness that some have – they are starting to realize the illusion of separateness, and how much more lonely can we get than all being one?  God acting out God self according to a plan…

 

Well, the positive about this all is that I realized something, if it is for real I do not know – as what is real and what is illusion?  It is just; a lot of experiences come together for me in this understanding.

 

I know you understand that God is in us and that we are God.  And I have never picked up that you want to be important to act this Godliness of yours out.  How did you get past all this, as yesterday was a negative experience for that moment, realizing how lonely we actually are and I cannot even describe the feeling of the realization that even to the least single thought, everything is going according to a Devine Plan.

The concept of free will?  This has bothered me since I was a kid.  No preacher, nobody could explain to me the controversies of the belief we have about free will.  There were just too much paradoxes for me with this whole concept.

 

This whole thing reminded me of a movie I once saw – I think it was something called Truman show or something.  But it was this boy who grew up in a small town and as he was an adult, he one day discovered that the sky he thought was the sky, was actually a huge roof and all the other people in the town, including his parents, was part of a huge set up.  And he was the fool in the whole thing, the only one who did not know he was the “ginny pig” in all of this – as the whole town, his whole world, was regulated from outside by other people setting the whole situation up. 

 

Other times I feel that we are all God, acting out a play or a movie – that there is nothing real to this as it is all just playing the role you have to play and that there is actually no me/myself/I/you in this whole set up, but God playing out God self in each and every one of us.  And that to me is such a boring concept, such a lonely concept – I have to get back into the believe that I am separate, otherwise I will fall into negativity again.  But when I believe I am separate, this underlying  characteristics haunt me – like being important and the feeling of loneliness.

 

A lot of people are handling this unconscious feeling by being parents or gods in their own homes and in the lives of their children or being in charge of their lives and even worse, in that of others(but still one has to think of it that it is still God acting out God self).  They do all of this without even realizing that behind all of this it is their own need to be who they are, God.

 

But with yesterdays experience a whole new lot of questions has come up front now.  This is now only for me on this earth in the whole of the Universe our earth is in – and this is limiting the Universe as something which has boundaries as it is something namely the Universe (doesn’t matter how many Universes are presumably inside my concept of Everything) and we are not even sure (because of the vastness) if the Universe is limited or has boundaries – that I had this experience yesterday.  What about the rest of the Universe (limiting it again!)?  Is there free will out there?  Is it possible for free will to have an existence without throwing the whole of the Universe into chaos? 

 

Lore, does this make any sense to you?

 

My shoulder is aching now so let me say goodbye…

 

Love

Renee

15/04/05 09:57 and 5 + 7 = 12 and looking at the year, 05 and 7 years up to 2012.

 

Ns  Logic is something crazy!  As I re read the above, I realized how different it can be interpreted.  So how does one pass over the original intent?

Lore19 .

 

14/04/2005 11:32

 

Hi Lor

 

As I said yesterday – 13/04/2005 – I had meditation session again last night.  Well, and this is now what the rabbi said:  If you only clear your head it won’t expand, but I got the strangest “picture”(don’t know what else to call it) last night.

 

First there was this black (it looked like it was burnt) tree, sort of like a “doringboom” type.  But this tree was not very huge.  But, on this tree there was this round place where you could see a thick branch was cut off.  But this branch that was cut off was not in proportion to the rest of the tree, it was huge.  On this place where the branch was cut off, there was “treegum” or whatever “boomgom” is called.  And there was this little ant at the “boomgom” and I was wondering what was it doing there?  Then there was an abrupt cut off and then there was a Baobab tree that was very alive as it had green leaves and this little ant was standing at the top of the tree and looking out from there.  But then it was shown to me that if you go down the tree, the tree is in water so to speak.  And you can see in the mirror effect of the water that the tree was having its roots, and mirroring was the tree again, but this time down, to the other side, and at the top of the mirror image in the water was the ant again.  Then there was for a moment ripples on the water and then the water was quiet again with this tree and its mirror image going down to the other side as well.  Just imagine that it is not to the left or to the right, the mirror image, but straight down – nearly like there is another tree, and it is rooted in the one above and the one above rooted in it, and only a piece of glass separating the two.  I really do not know what to make of this one.

 

Len said that the ancients told the story that the baobab’s roots is rooting into the sky, but what do one make of these roots – as it seems they are going everywhere???  And what does the ant got to do with all of it???  Ants are very hard workers, but what is this one doing in the tree?  On the “doringboom” I could still make it out, but in the baobab, I only had a knowingness that the ant was at the top of the tree, looking out from there, between the green leaves!

 

Well, I have three letters to send you now – it still is amazing that I received an sms and an email from you yesterday!  What a highlight yesterday, 13/04, was!  And this day gives both of your numbers, namely 4(22) and 1+3+4=8.  Maybe that is why I received twice from you yesterday?

 

Oh, and before I forget, talking about twice:  I also in the next meditation got the picture you had of our galaxy and the stuff were moving from outside in!  And not from inside out.  But I am still busy with Stephen Hawkins book, Brief History of Time and he talks about this effect and that Einstein was sort of looking at this question himself, as his theory implicated that the spiral goes out, but can go in as well and that was according to the scientists not possible or as I understand it unacceptable in some or other way.  Because where did the spiral start?  From inside or from outside moving in?  Do we have any kind of proof for this?  I am taking his book very slow, as it takes me a while to suss out at times, one of his sentences or the statements that he makes!

 

Anyway, you have a lot to read again…

Love

Renee

 

This is Lor18

 

13/04/2005 14:28 or 141 or 14 and 41.

 

Dear Lor

 

I just love writing you letters.  And receiving an email + sms from you on one day is for me the highlight in a long time.

 

Well, you are quite right when you say we create our own stuff – I created to not exist anymore in this life it seems as I meant I did not want to exist at all anymore, but what I got, was that for myself and for all around me, I did not exist anymore.  And after I realized that and co created that I do want to exist, suddenly I get an sms from you out of the blue plus an email.  And that it had to be on the 13^th or 22 (your numbers)!!!

 

I have had for two nights now very odd dreams.  On 12/04/2005 the morning I woke up and the dream I had was as follow:  Somewhere I was at this unknown place and very vaguely as I woke up, I realized 3 male lions was in my dream.  Then I was dreaming of the dogod thing.  Did I explain to you the concept behind dogod?  Well it is the same as the time thing up above, because if you look at dogod, the d is the 4^th letter of the alphabet and o is the 15^th letter, which add up to 6. Then g is the 7^th letter which gives us: A 4, 6, 7, 6, 4.  Now 4+6=10(1) and 6+7=13(4) and 7+6=13(4) and 6+4=10(1) and this gives us, if we view the numbers in the brackets:  1441!

 

But now I was dreaming about the word dogod and eventually just the word God.  Then a number popped up in my dream, namely 44.  Now in our book we are studying at the rabbi’s class, Anatomy of the Soul of Rebbe Nachman, Rebbe Nachman shows that the word EHYeH, which means:  “I will be revealed at ever greater levels”,  adds up to the numerical value of 44.  And this is on page 71 of a tranlation of the Rebbe’s work.  In this dream, as I woke up the word God figured still and was up close in my mind.

 

Now this morning I wake up and I realized I dreamt about two dogs.  It was a space I had to go through to get into another space.  The one dog was a Great Dane and his colours was the dark brown with light brown spots like a lot of the Steffis have, and the other dog, I do not know the make of as I only realized it was a whitish dog.  I entered their premises without fear but this whitish dog was going on so viciously that as I had to go into the next space and opened the gate, I thought this whitish dog was going to grab me from behind because it could sense my fear..and here the dream ended. A very strange dream indeed.

 

But to get back at your remarks made up to date:  I mustn’t analyze;  if I do not, I will die of boredom.  And I do not want to be bored anymore.  I have chosen to exist now as I have finished with the experience of non existence in this life and does not like it at all.  Now I do not want to be bored anymore as I have experienced that as well in this life now and does not like it at all also.  I like my mind to be at fire!!!

 

I just want to know, and maybe you can help me out here.  I sms’d you last night and told you I go into some other place as I am thinking there and when I get out, I realize that I have been in a different place but cannot remember what I was thinking.  Now, my question is;  how do I bring the thoughts I thought there, back with me???  It is like switching channels.

 

Oegh, all the personal stuff of me you have to put up with?

 

My next question is the same as the one this morning.  This time:  What is going to happen if everybody manifest themselves rich and millionaires?  What will happen to the money’s worth?  You know what I am thinking now – maybe this whole concept of manifesting I have wrong.  You told us that we must even for see each step?  And maybe it is because I have the concept wrong that I fear the process of creating?  What if I create another catastrophy like the non existent one?  Or worse, effecting other peoples lives?  My main question is just:  How can you create without interfering with anybody else’s life?  I mean, not one of us is the one and only thing in the universe – we are a lot of people on this Earth!

 

But my shoulder is starting to hurt now and I have a meditation group tonight to attend, so let me say goodbye until next time…

 

Love

Renee

13/04/2005 15:29 or 3:11 and 4 + 2 + 0 + 0 + 5 = 11.  Now where is the 1 of the 13 gone to (its missing in the time)?  So 1 is missing…