Charlie41

Lore59 .

 

 

09/10/2005 15:08 and 1+5=6 and 6+8=14 and this is Lor59 and 5+9=14 – also if you view the date, 09/10 it is a 9 and 1 or end and beginning.

 

Dear Lor

 

I am reading at night time, some nights, a piece in Deepak Chopra’s the Way of the Wizard.  But I have got two questions on my chest today.

 

1. To Merlin, to the Wizard; what in Your existence makes existence worth wile?
2. To God/Creator; what in YOUR existence, makes existence worth wile?

 

I have been given a quarts crystal while I am suffering with these questions – it is a small one, but it is a beautiful one.  At the one end though, there is some roughness or something, which one cannot see through the crystal.  Like for instance if the crystal represent the existence of the Wizard, the above question is that part of the crystal that is rough.  But looking at it from another point of focus, it is beautiful.  And that was the answer to the feeling I am dealing with today.

 

I got this feeling since an early age – wishing one can just wish your existence away!  Die a death where there is no afterlife, no existence anymore.  But it seems this has been cleared today by the quarts crystal – there is such a side to me, to my life, but there are also other sides which will make one view life again as beautiful.  Not only life, but existence.  I could never understand this feeling – of wanting to die to not exist anymore and it seemed the more I wished for it, the more it did not happen.  I thought it was only a kind of depression, but it seems there is that side to my life as well.  I do not really know how to explain it, as it seems it is something I am tuning into, do not really know how it happen, but I do not know if any medicine will help to keep that feeling away.  As I was on medication two days before the shooting incident when these feelings returned.  Yes they have been gone for nearly 12 to 13 years, but that was after I decided or learned that the only way to get “over” them is to dive into life, and I dived into the world – the world the police gave me.  Not thinking philosophy anymore, only doing my job and not analysing everything.  But these last few days I spend just at peace, not analysing anything, and still today it happened that I felt this way again:  Wondering even what is it that makes God/Creators existence for God/Creator worth existing for?

 

It is not a long letter today, but I am feeling better by just the mere fact that it is now out of my system – I have put into words to someone else.  Am I depressed, well, if anyone can find medicine for this feeling, I will take it as it is not a nice feeling.  Getting out of it actually is more rewarding than one will think, but still, being there is no “kinderspeletjies”.  I do not even know if one can consider it as a negative feeling?  It is just something to that quarts crystal that is part of that quarts crystal.  That is why I do not know if one can view it as something “negative”?

 

Anyway,…

 

LOVE

RENEE

09/10/2005 15:31 or 33(1) or 61 (it always seems there are so much possibilities to everything) on 9and 1… 

09/10/2005 20:25 or a 91 and 2(0)(0)5 for the date and 8:25 for the time where in both instances the 2+5=7 and the difference between 9 and 1 is 8 and isn’t 8 related to eternity by a lot of numerologists and spiritual people?

 

Dear Lor

 

I do not understand much of what I have witnessed tonight on Mnet about Steven Hawkins and the people that showed a paradox to what he was implying and it seems there were a dispute about this for 30 years!  Don’t they realize that for every theory there will be the paradox as true as well?  And as I went to bed now, my head showed me the following:

 

You remember that the page 71 is linked with the number 44 and this is linked to the name of God in Hebrew that means:  “I will be ever greatly revealed”.  (In Rebbe Nachman’s book, Anatomy of the Soul).  If one view the word PARADOX you get the following interesting happening:

P  (16^th letter of the English alphabet) A  (1^st letter of English alphabet) R  (9^th letter of English alphabet) A  (1^st letter of English alphabet) D  (4^th letter of English alphabet) O  (15^th letter of English alphabet) X  (24^th letter of English alphabet) and the last 3 letters’ values added together adds up to 4 + 6(1+5) + 6(2+4) = 16.  This gives us:

 

16 1 9 1 16 or 7 1 9 1 7 and as it seems everything added to 9 adds up to “everything”, we are left with 71 and 17.  And isn’t it amazing that 71 is so linked to the name of God that means:  “I will be ever greatly revealed”? And isn’t it amazing that both 44 and 71 adds up to 8?  And isn’t it amazing that incorporated in the centre of the          7 1 9 1 7, lies 191, or the beginning number and end number and the end number and the beginning number – enclosed on both sides by the number 7!

 

But also, if you look at where the cut off was, namely that “dox”, the last 3 letters were added together and that leaves us with 4 letters in the beginning or 4 and 3 or 43, and if you view the “dox” also and add 4 + 15 + 24 = 43 – isn’t this odd?

 

This might sound confusing, but isn’t that what paradoxes are all about?  To confuse us?  All that I can admit at this time, is that even though I can see that the theory of something can be true AND that the theory of the paradox of that theory are then true as well, God/Creator is so Mysterious. And we are trying to make some sense of all the mysteries. On our planet there is mysteries so microcosmic that we are not even aware of it – let alone to the magnitude of the Universe(s?)

 

But at this stage, I just need to get back from being out there in the cosmos to my body and ground myself.

 

LOVE

RENEE

09/10/2005 21:00 or 9:00pm or (9)(0)(0) and the 9 and the 0 basically at this stage have got the same meaning which could give us a lot of possibilities for the end time of this letter.

 

 

09/10/2005 21:27 or (9)(9)

 

Dear Lor

 

With all the paradoxes, one that is mind bogging is the one about the realness of this reality versus the inverse or illusion.  Isn’t it odd that “illusion” is linked with mystery as well?  And my main question remain – like I said to you in a previous letter – why does space have the appearance of darkness?  If you take a piece of space and examine it, what is that piece’s colour?  Why do we perceive the Universe as dark with stars in it to send out light?  Why is space observed as dark versus the stars, like our sun, to bring close planets to that stars some light and for the rest of the Universe’s observers only a star in the sky?  And for the 3^rd time in this letter, why do we observe the Universe to be dark? 

This gives us 3 times the question in this letter and 1 time in the other letter written a while ago!  Or a 3 and 1 combination again…

 

LOVE

RENEE

09/10/2005 21:38 or 9:(1)(1)

 

 

10/10/2005 17:45 or 17(9) the time and 2020(0)(5) the date

 

Dear Lor

 

I do not have a clue what I am doing with the numbers of the dates and times anymore – I just know they have to be that way…

 

What I did want to share with you was something that happened today.  I met up with my friends at Kenilworth centre and after we had lunch, I went to the auto bank and I went back to go to CNA to buy myself the Cape Times.  But before I could get to CNA, something let me go into Musica.  There I thought I saw a new release of a CD of Billy Ocean.  Then my head let me focus more clearly, and I saw it was not Billy Ocean but Billy Corgan.  And as I saw this I thought but there is actually nothing I wanted to do in Musica and went out to go to CNA.  As I took the Cape Times I heard a song playing in the shop and it was Billy Ocean’s “Get out of my dreams, get into my car”.  And I checked the time on my cell phone and as my cell phone is 10minutes behind I realized the actual time was 14:14. And as I got closer, on my way back home later on, to the N2, I saw the traffic was jammed and I drove to the N1 and N is the 14^th letter in the English alphabet.  Also, Karina, my friend, noticed that the Cape Times was confused with the TV programmes as they were advertising Friday’s TV programs and not today’s, Monday’s programs.  And if you take it, Friday will be the 14^th .  This gives us a lot of 14’s and a song and an artist – what I have to make of it, I do not know yet

 

Anyway, just thought I’d share this with you quickly…

 

LOVE

RENEE

10/10/2005 17:55 OR 555 and this is Lor59 or 5(9) and 9+5=14…

14/10/2005 (1)(0):16 and this letter starts with 14 and the last one, on the 10^th ended with 14.  And the time is a 1 and 0 combined with 16 – and what is 16 related to?

 

Dear Lor

 

Isn’t it amazing, that the previous letter ended on 14, this is the 14^th today, and what I want to write to you about is my dog (which is also resembling 14).  And this is Lor59 and 5 + 9 = 14.  And what is really amazing and I did not realize it till this morning when my head wanted me to come and write this letter, is that what I want to tell you shortly is something that happened on the 10^th , when the last letter was written!  And this whole week I wanted to come and write about this incident, but for some or other reason could not get to it…

 

All these years, I thought my dog was suffering from a very sensitive stomach.  But there is some information, which I discovered during the week, about this stomach ailments he is getting.  On Monday, the 10^th , as I were at home with him, I could see he was not well.  In fact, I felt it in my chest.  And I could not really take him to the doctor, as physically I could not really tell the doctor there is something “wrong” with him.  It was just this strange feeling I got in my chest that was making me worried to death about him – to such extent that I thought maybe I should put him out as it will be more bearable for him and me.  And I think you should know how bad the feeling must have been to even have a thought of giving my dog’s life up as I love him to death.

 

That was Monday, and on Tuesday, the humans’ stuff started happening, to such extent that I decided on Tuesday afternoon to phone Karina up and Len, and both of them were having a bad day.  I also phoned my new friend, Carol, up and she felt the same way.  She even said to me she tried chanting that did not even work.  Eventually we were all agreeing that it must be a global energy we are tapping into from Cape Town – or an energy being released in Cape Town.  I do not know what you guys’ experience this week has been in Magaliesburg?  But then I remembered what Len said once.  He said that the animals are the first to pick up stuff – strange energies entering the planet or Cape Town, or where ever.  This is when I realized that my dog actually, since an early age, must have had psychic input which made me think he was ill, as I sensed it from him.  And when I look back now, there were a lot of these disasters that happened the last few years which went with him being “ill”.  And I never before could put the two together!!!

 

So finally I have discovered something that really have been a headache…

 

LOVE

10:36 or 1(0)9 or 19.

RENEE

14/10/2005